Life Underneath An Umbrella

LIFE UNDERNEATH AN UMBRELLA 

 

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Living with past mistakes 

And some regret 

Haunted by things 

That haven’t passed by yet 

Sitting in place 

And watching life roll by 

For time and time again 

I tend to wave goodbye 

Ten times before saying hi 

Standing around 

Half alive but not dead 

And stress has become  

The monster that won’t leave 

Strife has become 

The enemy that sticks to me 

Feeling stuck all the time 

And looking at life 

From behind a hidden line 

Standing under the umbrella  

Of this life of mine 

With a gear stuck in neutral 

Even in my prime 

Stuck in the mud 

But not sinking at all 

Took a plunge 

And never fully recovered  

From the fall 

Residing in a hole 

And a well if you will 

Finding myself there often 

And standing still 

Looking up to the sky 

With rain falling down 

Stuck underneath this umbrella 

As if there is nowhere else around 

Then looking towards the ground 

For true peace and happiness 

Is something yet to be found 

Living life with more  

Frowns than smiles 

And unfortunately 

Have been here for a while 

Just holding the umbrella in place 

Seeing disappointment 

Steadily growing on my face 

And constantly the case 

Coming in thirds and fourths 

In my very own race 

For previous dreams and desires 

Seems as if they were never there 

No existence or the slightest trace 

Of ever having been there 

And on the daily 

I am constantly aware 

Of the past that haunts me 

Wounds that never closed 

So, healing didn’t occur 

Or enough obviously 

Just take a look at my face 

And tell me what you see 

For underneath this umbrella 

You will only see me 

And not shared with anyone else 

Very gloomy under here 

And standing by myself 

Is there anyone out there 

That could truly understand 

Standing on worn feet 

On an empty land 

With dreary weather overhead 

Standing consistently 

Half alive but not dead 

But would much rather 

Live and feel alive instead 

With this as the first and last thought 

Before and after going to bed 

With many sleepless nights  

Followed by restlessness 

And lack of relaxation 

For what I wouldn’t give 

To enjoy a nice and restful vacation 

For if there is any indication 

And this umbrella is the situation 

Then what is obviously needed and wanted 

Has yet to show up 

And be the demonstration 

Of life without just being mere existence 

But actually, living it 

Instead constantly being around 

And feeling the effects 

Of negative demarcation 

The frustration 

The aggravation 

No relaxation 

Yet I remain 

And live here 

Again, and again 

In the midst of dark weather 

And dim lights 

With constant stress and drama 

Standing and living life 

Underneath an umbrella 

 

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