A poem that resonates with me, and I hope that this piece will reach and help others as well….

 

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS 

 

In crisis over your identity 

And questioning if your life 

Has purpose or meaning 

Value or usefulness 

Leaning towards these very thoughts 

And feeling the bite from this 

Not at your best 

And having next to nothing 

Or much less 

Wandering why you exist 

In the first place 

And can’t resist the urge 

Of being stuck there for a while 

Becoming comfortable in this space 

With never having a smile 

Borderline self-loathing 

And wearing negativism and misery 

As everyday clothing 

Thinking about and pondering 

What was my life really meant to be? 

Good or bad 

Am I living and carrying out 

A self-fulfilling prophesy 

As I tend to be sad 

Did I manifest this with just my thoughts? 

Bringing and causing this 

To become my reality 

Am I at fault? 

Or is this beyond me and out of my control 

Has hope just came and went 

And taken its toll 

Spending most of your life 

In search of self-fulfillment 

Were you aware of its arrival 

And just missed out 

As your mind was too busy 

Filled with self-doubt 

What is this all about? 

Having to go without many things 

And feeling like you 

Had to forego many of your dreams 

Goals and ambitions 

Went about this with good intentions 

But in the end 

After all was said and done 

And the smoke had cleared 

You feel that you’ve been left with 

Many failed missions 

Not much that you revere 

Confidence has been affected 

In every section 

And not feeling that you’ve won 

Due to much stress and disappointment 

And much loss when done 

Racking your brain 

Both night and day 

And not knowing what to do 

Or actually can say 

And constantly display 

Feeling both blue and gray 

Each morning you awake 

And at night feeling restless 

Right where you lay 

And pray that real and viable change 

Arrives and is on time 

With plans that begin 

To fall in line 

So that I one day 

Can actually smile and leave it there 

With life working in my favor 

And can call it fair 

To be able to look in the mirror 

For once 

And truly recognize your own face 

As the gloom and fog 

Finally gets replaced 

By positive vibes and energy 

Embracing the light 

And right where you want to be 

Hang in there a little while longer 

For you are important 

And your life matters 

Forget about the former 

And focus on the latter 

Try to put the past behind you 

And concentrate on the future 

That lies before you 

I know you’ve gone through enough for two 

But do not checkout early 

And bid life adieu 

Find what works for you 

And stick it out 

Finding self in the process 

And think about the potential happiness 

That this could bring about 

Stand up and be who you are 

Because self-doubt can separate you 

Away from the right direction 

Making you think you need 

A license just to live 

As you give and give 

But take nothing away 

With nothing to show 

And become affected 

From the all the work and sacrifices made 

As you feel like you’re always under some shade 

And causing a break in you 

Stuck inside a parenthesis 

And divided by a hyphen 

For you must find a way 

If you so choose 

To snap out of 

This existential crisis 

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Writings By MCM